We interrupt your scheduled blog entry with breaking news.


One of our ninja INJM photographers (code name Eimaj) has infiltrated the INJM base without the knowledge of the people inside, and is able to send back some very hard to come by images of volunteers in their natural habitat.


Warning: Some of these images are shocking, and are not appropriate for those who are wearing tuxedo jackets OR using cigarette holders. All commentary is translated from ninja.


After keeping my ninja ear to the cyber street, I managed to find the location of the new INJM base (this was difficult, a google search didn’t keep it up, and that’s all the ninja house tracking skills I learnt at ninja school).


At first I was unable to discern which building was the base. Was it the one on the right, the building in the middle or was it an underground base underneath the carpark (you can see white bags which serve as an outline for the carpark).


Actually it was all of the above (minus the underground base). Since the last intel update, INJM had somehow managed to turn one house into two. Not only that, the second house was right next to the first one. I was unable to penetrate the house defences, as there were no shadows to hide in, and fearing discovery, I ninja’d my way along the wall of the house on the right.


*NINJA NOTE TO SELF* Check for smoke and mirrors. Is the second house real or an illusion? 


As I edged along the wall, my ninja sense of smell smelt a smell. The windows were frosted, but my ninja sense told me that it was worth investigating. I cracked open a window and took a picture.



I need to send this to the ninja lab to be analyzed, but it looks like <REDACTED> is <REDACTED> in the kitchen. I suspect she got the fish from a fishing village which has links to this organisation. Further investigation is required.


*NINJA NOTE TO SELF* The smell/gas released from this area had a strange affect. Caused my mouth to water and made my stomach rumble. Will get a checkup at the ninja hospital ASAP. Hope for no long term damage.


I stealthed in the house through an open door, and saw this suspicious pile of stuff.


*NINJA NOTE TO SELF* Learn the names of stuff, so as to make it more clear what stuff you saw.

*NINJA EDIT* Polystyrene and Plywood. 



It was not immediately clear to me what this stuff was, or what it was to be used for, but I soon found out.



As you can see from the images included in my report, INJM are obviously aware of the rogue ninja element in their group, and are ninja proofing their floors. This blue stuff has several interesting properties.

I used my ninja analysis kit to analyze the blue stuff, and found out:


1. When rubbed together, it makes a noise which is unpleasant to ninjas. 

2. It is ninja resistant. None of my ninja tricks worked on it, it just ignored ALL the ninja stuff I did.

3. It works as insulation against drafts and ninjas. 


I was unable to walk across this surface without alerting people of my presence. Thankfully, it seems that volunteers are also unable to walk across it. I predict they will cover this blue stuff with flooring so that they can walk across it. Which will greatly reduce the effectiveness it has against ninjas. The only benefit will be that it keeps out drafts.


*NINJA NOTE TO SELF* Don’t walk on blue stuff. Ninja’s are too heavy, it will not support the weight of a ninja. 


I did a ninja roll from behind the sofa to the corner of a passageway. Like every good ninja, I used a fibre optic camera to take a picture around the corner, to check for movement.


As you can see, they are leaving nothing to chance, and are ninja proofing everywhere. Black clothed humanoid seemed to be in an attack position so I climbed into the ceiling.


Eager to find a way out, I crawled along the ceiling, and then spotted this table beneath me.




It seems to be the foundation for some sort of summoning spell. Someone shouted summon words “LUNCH TIME” and out of nowhere, the volunteers assembled and sat around this table. Having nowhere good to hide, I ninja’d myself under the table.


*NINJA NOTE TO SELF* Find better hiding spots. 


I was unable to clearly see how the ritual was carried out, being that I was under the table, so again I used my fibre optic camera.



It seems that they gain strength by ingesting the stuff on the plate. It might have once been aforementioned fish from a fishing village, but it had been transformed into some sort of nice smelling sustenance. Notice the blurring of peoples hands. It seems that they are able to accelerate certain parts of their body to speeds that my camera is unable to capture. Thankfully, it only seems to take place during the intake of sustenance, and poses no threat to ninjas.


*NINJA NOTE TO SELF* The ritual sapped my strength. Those who partook seemed to gain strength, but proximity alone does not nourish. In fact, proximity without ingestion seems to make ninjas weaker.


I am weak now. I don’t know if I can make it back. I send this transmission on, with the hope that others can learn from what I’ve seen. Don’t hate the volunteers. Ironically, I volunteered for this mission. I hope that future generation of ninja can look at these images and better understand volunteers.


Sent from my nINJAiPhone



Note from Jamie: I was called down for lunch but it wasn’t ready yet, so I snuck around taking pictures. House is looking good. Oh, and the next door neighbors dropped by and said we can use their house too. Know what’s better than one house in Ishinomaki? Two houses in Ishinomaki.

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